Extra extra small

Ah, bliss. American Apparel makes clothes in size XXS. They even claim (somewhere--I can't find it now) that some of their stuff shrinks a size when you wash it. XXXS!

I'm trying to achieve the youthful, tapered, slightly top-heavy look of all those 20-somethings whose t-shirts hug their shoulders and then scoop spontaneously into their wasp-waists. Those aren't tailored garments they're wearing, and I've always wondered how they get them to look just right. Is it simply a matter of having a buff physique? If so, I'm going to need something very tight indeed before my little, little muscles will appear to burgeon.

I might be mistaken in my quest to find clothing ever smaller and more form-fitting. The kind of clothes that'll look best on you--sometimes it's counterintuitive. On clothing advice shows, for example, people try to hide the body parts they don't like under looser garments, and they need to be taught that something closer-fitting will actually look better. Unfortunately my transsexual fashion guide doesn't quite address the issue of how small is ideal.

So I'm off to American Apparel. Any day now you will see me at the bar in a teeny tiny shirt, trying to pass as some winsome moppet. If you want to please me, you'll ask if I'm old enough to be in there.